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How can you believe in the awesome person you are when all kinds of judgemental thoughts creep in to poison your image of yourself?
Self-doubt is a terrible thing, but it’s also inevitable. It’s you telling you that it’s disappointed in you.
I really can write a coherent sentence, but self-doubt and negative thinking are all about you and nothing but you. There’s no he, or she, or they to blame.
You are responsible for how you feel about yourself.No matter what others might do to you, you are ultimately in charge of how you allow yourself to feel about it. Click To Tweet
Belief in yourself is so much more important than how much you weigh, or how much money you have, or what a great, or not-so-great, job you have.
Believing in yourself gives you the power to change those things. It gives you the power to change everything!
Do you believe in yourself? No matter what you answer, I can tell that you do.
Maybe not 100%, but enough.
You believe that if you read helpful articles or find the right diet, you’ll lose weight. No matter how many times you may have lost, not lost, or lost and gained back the weight.
You are back and you are determined.
That bravery comes from a place that believes, no matter how deeply hidden it might be.
To be your best – to achieve your goals, no matter how many times you might stumble – you need to feed that belief and make the journey as much about you as a person, as that number on your scale.
And believing in yourself is only peripherally about weight loss. To read about creating positive thoughts for weight loss, read The Best You – How To Turn Your Self Image Around. And be sure to download your free Negative Thought Replacement worksheet.
To learn to believe in yourself goes beyond positive thinking. It’s about changing your life.
You going on a diet, or you are you embarking on a life change.If you want to create a new lifestyle, you need to build bridges between your belief in yourself and the work, play, and family places you want to build.Click To Tweet
You will stumble and you will fall along the way. Everyone does. But it’s believing in yourself that will carry you through.
Start by identifying your negative beliefs about yourself and reprogram each of them to reflect the true you.
Make a list. What are the worst thoughts you have about yourself? Don’t be shy, no one will see this but you. Now take one at a time and really examine it.
Is it the truth? Be fair to yourself here.
I remember doing this exercise and writing “I’m lazy.” When I really tried to dig deep and try to understand where this belief came from, I remembered being a child who snuck away from chores to read. I would lose myself in the fantastic worlds I read about, only to be brought sharply back by my mother telling me I was lazy and to get back to work.
When I really tried to dig deep and try to understand where this belief came from, I remembered being a child who snuck away from chores to read. I would lose myself in the fantastic worlds I read about, only to be brought sharply back by my mother telling me I was lazy and to get back to work.
That image of being lazy was reinforced enough times that it came to live with me as an adult. When I was busy raising young children, if the house wasn’t as clean as I thought it should be, I told myself I was lazy.
But I raised wonderful, independent happy adults.
When I went to work full-time after my husband’s heart attack, the housework wasn’t always done, the kids didn’t have me there to help with homework. Dinners were hastily thrown together.
But I got us through until my husband was able to go to work again. The house didn’t fall down around our ears, the kids found help elsewhere and no one complained about dinner.
No one complained at all. Except for me.
Because I still believed I was lazy.
When I really examined that belief, I had to admit that I was, in fact, NOT lazy. Like anyone, I had and have things that are priorities and always get done, and things that are not as important. I either get them done eventually or farm them out.
I went from I am lazy to I am organized, work hard and get things done!
Accept that failure is an inevitable part of progress and not a destination.
There’s this really terrific website titled “They Did Not Give Up.”
Whenever I get down on myself for not achieving something quickly enough, I go read another story and I get a kick in the pants to stop my complaining and get going again.
My favorite, and an often quoted, story there is about Thomas Edison, whose teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.”
He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.”
As an inventor, he made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.
When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?”
Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.
How cool is that? Do you think Edison believed in himself? Would we all still be reading by candlelight if he didn’t?
Remember your Past Successes.
Write them down. Post them around your house to remind yourself that you’re a terrific person! You do great things every day. Maybe not in your eyes, but you do! Here are some of mine:
I graduated from culinary school.
I hand-finished our stair banisters
I took our dog to training every week & helped teach him how to be a good boy.
I painted several of the pictures in our home. They make me happy and brighten our rooms.
I speak two languages
I can drive a stick
Hey, I rock!
Try it for yourself.
Talk to yourself during the day.
It doesn’t have to be out loud, but it’s ok if it is. One of my weight loss buddies rewards himself after a workout with a fist raised high and a “Hell, yeah!” He’s acknowledging his accomplishment and gets instant positive reinforcement. From himself!
When you do something positive during your day, tell yourself “Good job!” If you wait for someone else to say it, you could be waiting a long time. So be your own cheerleader.
When those pesky negative messages start trying to march through your head, knock them back out. “None of that, I. Am. Awesome!”
You will be amazed at how much impact giving yourself supportive and celebratory messages will change your outlook!
Talk to the people that love you when you need more.
Sometimes, you just feel bad.
It could be hormonal, it could be an accumulation of unhappy experiences, but you just get the sads.
When it happens to my daughter she texts me exactly that. “Mom, I have the sads today.” I respond, or call, and ask her what’s going on and, after a few minutes of being heard and my giving her the support and love she’s asking for, she feels better and goes on with your day.
You don’t have to have other people to believe in yourself. But it helps.
Reflect at the end of each day.
One of my blogging mentors recently wrote about something she learned in a coaching meeting. It was such a powerful idea that she wrote to her readers about it. She and her family have had a turbulent year with a lot of changes, yet she is one of the most positive and motivating people I know.
What she learned was simple, but it transformed the way she looked at life.
She learned to write down her wins.
What good things did you do, even small things? What can you do better tomorrow? Did someone pay you a compliment (even if you brushed it away)? Did you push through discomfort to tell someone how you felt? Did you complete a task that was hard for you? Did you develop a habit that makes you happy every day?
Here are mine from today:
- I made the bed the minute I got up and my room looks so pretty and will be that much more welcoming tonight.
- I made a menu and shopping list for next week and sent the order to my grocery store for delivery. (one of those things I am NOT going to call myself lazy for again)
- I picked up my son from school and took him out to lunch.
- I took my dog with me and gave him a fun ride in the car. He was so grateful!
- I opened the sunroof in my car and enjoyed a sunny March breeze.
- I wrote this article and got it ready for publishing.
- I sent my husband a romantic text so he would feel loved during his long day.
- I did our laundry and cleaned one bathroom.
- I made flight arrangements for one of our boys’ college visit.
Nothing life-changing here, but they are my wins. What are yours?
Write affirmations based on your positive beliefs about yourself.
This is different than your successes. This is I am Lazy territory. Only now you’re turning those negative messages on their ear and writing positive messages you need to hear every day.
I work hard to create a happy home for my family.
I’m a team player at work and the company owes part of its success to me.
I’m a kind person who tries to make every person I meet feel better.
I like the person I see in the mirror.
Write your own and add to them as you continue to grow.
Fake it till you make it.
Believe in yourself and project that confidence. When others believe you are the person you are presenting to them, you will become that person. Confidence can’t be created in a day. Wear your belief like an article of clothing until it becomes a second skin.
Self-doubt is like a child living inside us.
It’s frightened and wants to be comforted and reassured. Be gentle and understanding with your doubts. They will always live in you and surge up loudly in stressful times.
By learning to believe in yourself and taking the steps you need to calm your doubts, you can live as the best and happiest you.
Download our Affirmation worksheet in the resource library (sign up above) and take a few minutes every day to remind yourself of why you’re awesome!